Chapter 4

Title: Chapter 4 - Six
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Bouncingfluff
Rank：Platinum Member Score：384 Posts：384 From：United Kingdom Register：06-01-2009 08:31	Date Posted：14-10-2015 08:54Copy HTML <!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false EN-GB JA X-NONE Chapter 4 – Six At the top of ourstreet there was a really long straight road lined with other streets and housesdown the left-hand side and other little cul-de-sacs down the right-hand side.It eventually sloped into a V-shaped hill. At the top of that, on the otherside, there was a small bend with a big house on the corner where my Dad’sfriends used to live. I remember my Mum carrying me to the big long road oneday as my Dad crawled alongside us in his van telling her to get in. They split when Iwas six. https://image.aimoo.com/ForumImages/fd4136ae-2b3b-4d4b-8222-9d9363e75a6f/151015_051047_81724915.doc Much love xx <!--EndFragment--> "What's meant for you won't pass you by." "Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself"
Zydha	Share to: #1
Rank：Diamond Member Score：30689 Posts：30689 From：Great Britain Register：02-11-2008 11:49	Re：Chapter 4 - Six Date Posted：15-10-2015 10:27Copy HTML Hy, I just took a quick look at this chapter, Fluff, as 'I thought' it was chapter 4 to Six... Might I suggest you do as I have done with my childhood poetry... (aged 6) or as appropriate, so your reader knows that they are not going into three more chapters. Shall be back later with more time, Zy x Opposites exist by virtue of each other
mikhail44	Share to: #2
Rank：Diamond Member Score：1836 Posts：1836 From：United Kingdom Register：16-01-2009 02:59	Re：Chapter 4 - Six Date Posted：15-10-2015 03:52Copy HTML hi dear Fluff i have now read 3 and 4 as usual i love your use of the conversational, comfortable writing - since it puts the reader in the moment vicariously experiencing what you experienced as much as possible in the written word your sense of humor adds spice and is most well done there's a tragic undertone to your story (life) which you let peek through as we go - tantalizingly sad and amazingly curious where it will go so far i wonder where it's going - save for several wonderful snippits of your experiences i guess that's good - since you must know where you are going with your story and your style has me wondering - not hooked yet - but most enthralled thanks so much for sharing hope this helps with respect, m
Zydha	Share to: #3
Rank：Diamond Member Score：30689 Posts：30689 From：Great Britain Register：02-11-2008 11:49	Re：Chapter 4 - Six Date Posted：15-10-2015 07:49Copy HTML Hy, Fluff, I have a bit more time than earlier and have now read chapter 4, like Mikhail, I find your writing extremely conversational, and unlike Mikhail, I have met you a few times and am familiar with your tone and phrasiology and this is so very natural, I can almost hear you. You are telling your story in a journal fashion, almost like talking to yourself as much as to your reader, so I feel this is two fold and laying some shadows to rest from your childhood which were probably fairly influencial in feeding a growing sense of inferiority, generated by your parents relationship, the subsequent desertion by your father and his later criticism throughout your years. Easy reading, Fluff, with an insight into another's formative years and a glimpse of the resulting influences to come, Zy x Opposites exist by virtue of each other
Bouncingfluff	Share to: #4
Rank：Platinum Member Score：384 Posts：384 From：United Kingdom Register：06-01-2009 08:31	Re：Chapter 4 - Six Date Posted：17-10-2015 05:31Copy HTML Hi Zy Apologies if the title caused some confusion - I thought that because the rest of the chapters were titled in this way it would be alright. I am really pleased that this is enjoyable though and that the way it is written works. I haven't wanted it to seem too simple, but also don't want to over complicate the language either x "What's meant for you won't pass you by." "Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself"
potleek	Share to: #5
Rank：Diamond Member Score：4849 Posts：4849 From：United Kingdom Register：07-01-2009 05:20	Re：Chapter 4 - Six Date Posted：18-10-2015 06:40Copy HTML Fluff I read this when you first posted it but didn't comment at the time. I want you to know I really love what you are doing and allowing us to see a little of what makes you, you. But can I be just teenzy bit critical with you. This is your story it's about you and it really is for you (although you allow us to read) But I felt that you held back a little with what you really felt at the time. Six is really an age when things do make a difference and influences us all whether we realise it or not. I know at times it is difficult to put into words your true feelings and we are all the same when it comes to that. But again I must commend you for approaching this the way you have and I thank you for allowing me into your life. Blessings and best wishes...Tony (potleek) Time is the most precious thing we have, but we are the poorer if we can't spend a little time on a friend