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| Title: Honestly? Chapter 1 | |
| bbcpoetrycorner > Our Writers Nook; Members Stories and More > Our Members Stories (Around 500 Words or more) | Go to subcategory： |
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Bouncingfluff
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Date Posted：29-08-2015 10:49Copy HTML Chapter 1 – Heartache
‘Just want you to know that if you ever want to pop round for a cuppa or anything, you always can. I’ve been spending the majority of my spare time with Mum and we are getting there, I think. We talk sometimes, about Mamma, about the different feelings and just some things we’ve found hardest. And sometimes, I do just want to breakdown and be a bit more vulnerable than I am and sometimes I have, sometimes I’ve cried so hard with Lyndsey that I’ve given myself a migraine. But I kinda figured that I’ve spent so much of my life lost in myself, in my thoughts of what other people want me to be, in the ways I am not as good or as pretty or as something. Losing Mamma has made me actually appreciate myself, to realise that actually, I’m alright. It has made me do things that I wouldn’t – to just get in my car without thinking and just go, to believe that I can aim higher and do more and that I don’t have to take shit from anybody. Because I figured that life can hand you anything at any time. So I have to be the best that I can be and stop holding myself back. I miss her more than I really talk about, more than ever when we are alltogether. I miss being interrupted and having somewhere to be on a Saturday afternoon, without fail. I miss raiding her biscuits and making her laugh. And every time Esmae does something new my heart aches because I know how much Mamma would have talked about it for weeks and told everybody. But I just want you to know that I haven’t forgotten, I know there is a huge partof you that isn’t OK and that will never fully heal, just like my Mum has – and will always have. But right now I am still fighting it too, because my life has always been fight or fall and I have always hit rock bottom before I’ve comeback from things. I’m using Mamma’s strength to drive me, rather than falling apart completely. I just want you to know that we are here if you need somewhere to just be somewhere different – and I am here for you as much as I am for my Mum. I love you xxx’ https://image.aimoo.com/ForumImages/fd4136ae-2b3b-4d4b-8222-9d9363e75a6f/150829_200854_74166984.doc Ah, it's done it! Here is the full Chapter! <!--EndFragment-->"What's meant for you won't pass you by."
"Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself"
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Zydha
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#1
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Re：Honestly? Chapter 1 Date Posted：29-08-2015 11:53Copy HTML Hy, Sweetie, much as I am delighted that you are moving on with your book, you cannot post it as you have done here today, this way you are swamping the Today page which quite a few use as our entry page and our check on most recent posts.
I cannot edit in the first post box, Fluff, since Aimoo 'upgraded our engine', hahaha, but David helps me out when I need it so he is going to delete most of your 12 page post and leave the intro/first paragraph (which is what we all do when over 500 words) and you can link the rest of this (and any subsequent chapters in the same manner) by using the 'UPLOAD FILE' icon (second from the right on lower level of icons). We all use that now as it is fairer to those who have just posted and hope to have a response without scrolling miles down on Today. If you can follow the instructions in the first post of this forum, Fluff, great, if not, just give a shout, but 12 pages straight onto the corner screen is too many to be fair to the other posters posts, linking works longer pieces much better, thanks, Zy x Opposites exist by virtue of each other
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Bouncingfluff
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#2
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Re：Honestly? Chapter 1 Date Posted：29-08-2015 12:25Copy HTML Hi Zy
Apologies - I have only just today found out where the Today Page is - so now realise what happens if something massive is posted! Sorry. I have tried to insert the file, but although it creates a link to it, it won't then upload :( x "What's meant for you won't pass you by."
"Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself"
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Zydha
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#3
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Re：Honestly? Chapter 1 Date Posted：29-08-2015 12:35Copy HTML Hy, Upload??? It's supposed to simply open a Word ducument creating a Word hyperlink, Fluff.
one reads the rest of the script in the word document, not the corner, Zy x Opposites exist by virtue of each other
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Zydha
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#4
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Re：Honestly? Chapter 1 Date Posted：29-08-2015 12:37Copy HTML I saved just in case, so am trying the hyperlink from my file, Fluff,
https://image.aimoo.com/ForumImages/fd4136ae-2b3b-4d4b-8222-9d9363e75a6f/150829_200856_67549140.doc ok...it works just fine for moi, save story in Word, post first paragraph and then click on the above icon (house with blue arrow) for link, from the box which appears; click again where it says 'ALLOW', then OPEN; but it remains in your Word doc, Zy x Opposites exist by virtue of each other
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Bouncingfluff
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#5
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Re：Honestly? Chapter 1 Date Posted：29-08-2015 12:42Copy HTML Hi Zy
I have just managed to do it - I don't know why it wouldn't do it the first time I tried! x "What's meant for you won't pass you by."
"Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself"
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Zydha
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#6
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Re：Honestly? Chapter 1 Date Posted：29-08-2015 12:52Copy HTML Arrgghh...lol, what do you think I have been sitting here working out for you
 humph!!!But glad you've got the hang of it, Fluff,  it's a handy tool for longer posting, Zy xOpposites exist by virtue of each other
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Bouncingfluff
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#7
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Re：Honestly? Chapter 1 Date Posted：29-08-2015 01:30Copy HTML Haha, sorry Zy! Thanks though! x
"What's meant for you won't pass you by."
"Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself"
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Zydha
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Share to:
#8
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Re：Honestly? Chapter 1 Date Posted：29-08-2015 03:15Copy HTML Hy, Fluff, I have read it all and what a great way to hook your reader, it is not easy to find the right door to open into your life, the one whick will make your reader want to open another and another one still as the journey progresses from your eventual beginning and onwards.
I think you have chosen well the way to introduce yourself and what a eulogy for Mamma...she would be so proud and so pleased. Please don't give up, Fluff, use the posting facility, let us travel with you and hold on to the terminology, the incredibly personalised way of addressing your reader as you 'speak to them'...it works and I sincerely look forward to reading how you will transpose from now on. Now let's hear what others say, but bravo from me, Zy x Opposites exist by virtue of each other
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Bouncingfluff
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#9
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Re：Honestly? Chapter 1 Date Posted：29-08-2015 06:21Copy HTML Zy,
I intend very much to carry on with this. It feels right this time. I can't explain it, but I know this is the right time to do it. I may need your help after the next few chapters though - just to help me remember some stuff in the right order. Watch this space :) xx "What's meant for you won't pass you by."
"Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself"
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potleek
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#10
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Re：Honestly? Chapter 1 Date Posted：29-08-2015 07:01Copy HTML Fluff. Dear, dear fluff. I have read this with the greatest of interest and felt your pain at your great loss.
To be more honest I cried as I read through this, I cried for you and because of the memories it brought back to me, the time when my mother died in hospital and a few years later when my dear dad passed away also in hospital. Yes we all have that feeling of guilt, did I do enough and most of all we never took the time to hug and tell them how much they really meant to us and how much we really loved them. But we cannot turn back the clock, I understood your feeling when you emptied your grandmothers house, me and we as a family had to go through the same thing, but it was only a house, yes there would be a lot of memories tied up in that place and with the things that you had to dispose of, but the one thing that you cannot get rid of is the memories and the love you had for her. But I applaud you for taking the time and the courage to sit down and write such a piece and the open honesty that you wrote it with. We have to take life one step at a time for good or for bad, but I honestly hope yours are all good steps...Tony (potleek)
Time is the most precious thing we have, but we are the poorer if we can't spend a little time on a friend
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Bouncingfluff
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#11
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Re：Honestly? Chapter 1 Date Posted：30-08-2015 03:26Copy HTML Tony,
Your kind comments are so very much appreciated. This hasn't been too good a time for me since getting married, I must admit. But my Mamma always said I had a story to tell so... I suppose now is as good a time as any to start telling it. I'm still in that stage where I'm trying to get all the emotions back that I have detached myself from and remember everything in the right order, but I will get there. Losing my Mamma was probably the hardest thing I've ever experienced - because of how it happened, and then having to help go through all her life's worth of things just confirmed the brutality of it. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and comment Tony. I appreciate it very much. Fluff "What's meant for you won't pass you by."
"Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself"
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